Terry’s Tavern has been serving Zanesville, Ohio for over 60 years. Let’s face it, it was a boring about us page anyway say all my critics ever. I’m my worst critic. I’m going to spruce up this boring page with my story. I hope you don’t mind, and I hope people will keep this to themselves. I have some apologizing to do behind my wife’s back. Don’t be a douchebag and tell her about this. I just need to get a few things off my chest, and then I’ll be on my way. I NEED DESPERATELY TO GET ON MY WAY ZANESVILLE. There’s nothing too outlandish here, nor unforgivable, so don’t get your panties in a wad. I need to be treated like Uncle Eddies dog and be simply allowed to finish. Thank you!

Okay. I wanted to go to Japan. I needed to go to Japan and I need to convince the world why and why I’m not crazy for wanting to fly there at a moment’s notice. I need a huge favor from someone in Zanesville who doesn’t hate me now. Can someone do me a solid and send someone to my door in Fairfield that’s looking for a good paying job that pays $50k a year and offers paid health insurance and includes 3 weeks time off when counting a week of pto? I need a good person to run my shop while I tell my story undistracted. I need a good pick and pack inventory guru that can help me get organized and back to working on this little gem. I’ll only get back to work when I vent about a few things, again nothing earth shattering here, but I do have some funny stories. One involves a guy named Squirrel and almost getting killed. He wears overalls and is a farmer. I almost got into a bar fight with a guy named Squirrel. Well, not really you see. He can tell you why. Maybe. I thought that an old friend of mine at the time named Jim had been in touch with him at the time. It has something to do with a mug sitting on my bookcase in the basement. IS THERE NOW A MUG LEGEND AT TERRY’S I WONDER? Can someone please tell the internet about it if there is? Like post on their pages and shit so the internet knows? Can someone even do that I wonder? What about a whole community? What if they all shared what they thought they knew about the origin of the PAT MCGROIN MUG. This is why I’m a legend Jim. I worked through this and got to you. Well, not yet, but I soon will. Provided the internet helps me and keeps this to themselves. Create a little paranoia in Jims world if people don’t tell him about this. I wonder if it were the same for me? My siblings protecting me on social media? I swear everyone around me has been treating me different. I feel the opposite of that movie where they tape his life and everything was adorable. The Trueman Show. Love that movie. I feel I’m living the angry version of that show right now in my life. Not crazy rage guys. I’m just upset about our circumstances is all. I mean these blessed UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I speak those words with awe and pride in my voice. It’s what makes this message possible. Freedom of motherfucking speach. FUCK YOU CHINA. MOTHERFUCKERS. You’ve used our politicians against us by creating these huge charity pacs who allow our largest corporations to sell directly from the Chinese with AMERICAN US DOLLARS. YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BUYING DIRECT FROM CHINA USING FBA. TELL ME IM WRONG MOTHERFUCKERS. I have purchase orders to prove it. Your tax dollars being funneled right into the Chinese state to make more missiles to kill you with. These guys are cocksuckers and backstabbers. They sell to me and then behind my back, sell against me directly on FBA. They sell direct to American Federal INTRITUTIONS. yep. They are driving down the cost of labor here so that soon the middle class will be the poor class of yesteryear. What that makes the poor – I don’t know. Would they even know or care? Our prices have become unpayable because of the influx of cheap goods that were delivered here on Xi’s silk road. SURELY EVERY AMERICAN KNOWS THAT BY NOW. WELCOME TO THE SILK ROAD MOTHERFUCKERS IF YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO NOT KNOW WHY AMERICANS ARE SO UPSET. They are upset with themselves for buying (stupidly, like stupid bastards) Chinese goods and Chinese brands directly. If they always use a middle man like me that doesn’t mark shit up crazy then they would come out ahead. I can show them how to turn the tables on China if I only had an audience.I will make it make common sense by showing Terry’s a thing or two first. I’m changing Terry’s back to an all cash bar starting JANUARY 1. JOANNE, PLEASE POST THAT NOW on FB. The dreaded FB. Don’t get me started. I’ll tell you why here, publicly. That’s why I had you share that NDA. Don’t under any circumstances let this get out of Zanesville. This is between me and the town. Thanks for that. You’re a great manager. I will show you. I don’t know why they picked that up. My wife thinks I”ve lost it, but now they do things behind my back. Sorry about that. I had plans for that. I don’t carry cash and couldn’t tip the waitresses there when I was almost boarding a flight to Japan. I felt like a real asshole. I was not expecting to be there and I hadn’t prepared for only that one thing. That’s pretty good for me. I forgot to tip Mel and Jo last time I was there. My head was spinning the whole time. Sorry bout that. Make it up to you someday I hope. I pray that someday is soon. I’ve been burdened by stupid shit for way too long. I’m sorry I let it get to me. Being bitched publicly was not something I publicly enjoyed. Twice. On purpose bitches. I hope my brother is reading this. I hope the internet gives him a little flick to let them know that I’m here and I love him. I’ve been a bit upset with you and have been taking it out of my wife of all stupid things. I couldn’t imagine loving someone more than you and Wendy. I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing that name publicly. Please keep that to yourselves. She’s wonderfly quirky and I love it. I was there for you guys at your very worst. I expected the same bro. I still love you to death and it’s made me sick to my stomach to be without you in my life. I miss you guys terribly. I think your son hates me. Your daughter doesn’t. I like that. I’m publicly thanking her for not hating me. I understand he thinks he knows a thing or two about a situation he has no business being in. This was about two brothers who love each other dearly and are too stubborn and bone headed to just make up. Sorry I said those things. I already apologized personally. I need to make some apology making. Please let me do that Zanesville in my own weird way

I’ve finally started. This feels real and right. I’ll tell you about myself finally. Sorry for the lack of communication on this. I tend to keep my bothers to myself. I used to keep them to myself and under control until I got too full of them to handle and vomited on my life. Sorry bout that. Again, if you’re just joining us, please let me remind you that we agreed to keep this on the DL. Please keep this away from my town. They’ll act like they don’t know who you’re talking about. That’s where I’m from bitches. The town nobody talks about until now. You know the one. MY TOWN. Can I get a what what? Okay, probably not.

This is me finally sending that overdue message to one person up there in particular, that would become an enemy. My greatest. Well played, but not good enough. I hope this proves to be my endaround and I hope it feels like a reach around when these words hit you. You are a son of a bitch.